If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour... you're gonna see some serious shit... Back By Popular Demand... This is a public service announcement... Warning warning... Interaction with this individual will cause the following: Uncontrollable episodes of laughing. Mind stimulation. Mydriasis. Tachycardia. Uncontrollable leaking. Rough pleasure. Muscle contraction. Stress relief. Tension release. Satisfying genital pulsation. Intense feeling of euphoric ecstasy. Inability to walk straight. Before use; the following precautions should be adhered to: Warm up and stretch out... Take caution when attempting to use... Handle with care... Bring WaterProofs!!! If after use; the following symptoms occur: Restless nights dreaming of BBC... Slight case of jungle fever... Then it is advised that you reuse until symptoms dissipate. Disclaimer... This profile is intended for adults, you must be over 21 and fuck like a pornstar to use. The contents of this profile are provided for sexual purposes only and no strings or emotional attachments. Okay so by now you should at least have a smile on your face, but if not just watch this space; it's time I teach you some of the Facts of Life: Some women treat sperm like protein; others treat it like acid... Some women suck dick like they're trying to steal your life force... When women suck dick and look up; it looks like they're looking for advice... Women who are against sit ups always have nice hair and nails... If your bust and gut are fighting for the top spot, you've past curvy... A female over fifty who still looks good is known as "vintage vagina"... A slim white female with no ass is "old fashioned" ... Phat and fat are pronounced the same but have completely different meanings... Apparently the only thing men need to qualify as 'gym fit' are huge biceps... Women who seek VVWE individuals must need to fill some huge spaces... If she's over 21 and promiscuous, then forget about it; you won't be teaching her any new sex moves... Married females on a girls night out might as well be on a cruise-ship; they're looking for semen... Doms love to talk about how they destroy pussy... Sir, the only pussy you destroyed was your mothers' at birth.. Pussy is indestructible... Dicks break if you fall on them wrong... If she never came, get back to work; you're not finished... Pussy is an acquired taste similar to marmite... After eating pussy your mouth looks like a glazed doughnut... Some guys eat pussy like it's their mother's cooking... If you're under 21, your pussy must taste like HOPE... Pussy can't be higher case value than dick because after a dick goes soft fucking is over... If she's making loads of noise then you're short stroking... If she can't breathe; your dicks hit her lungs... Women change their minds like the English weather... FFM is known as a threesome; MMF is known as a train... Some women give away their pussy like it's gold dust... Others like it's water... Some men and women have more verifications than a 's hardest worker... Quality over quantity; unless you're shit at mathematics... One 10 beats four 2's any day ... A dad isn't just a hero to his ... He's their mother f**ker... And finally, if Carlsberg did profile entries... Id be their writer... Lesson Over...

理想の相手： Ok so now for the waffle about what I'm looking for...

I love all women of all ages, shapes and sizes from all walks of life. From the elegant and sophisticated to the wild and adventurous.
If you're ever in need of stimulating conversation, alluring seduction and or a seductive sexcapde, look no further than The Black Matador...
My magic stick is a million times more dangerous than Harry Potter. Cum check out my fantastic beast...

Enter The Dragon©
The Worlds Most Eligible Bachelor™
SexScenez©
EST.1988®

Ps: If you haven't already noticed, my vernacular isn't normal, you may need to grab a DICtionary...